The Silent Life Of A Stammer

Where do I start? Im only 14+ years too late to express my feelings right? I thought Id write this blog on behalf of all the stammerer's out there to make people aware of the struggles a stammerer goes through in our daily life's.

Step in to my shoes for a moment...

I'm a twenty year old down to earth, humble, easy going lad from Bradford and currently studying to be a Sports Physiotherapist at the University of Bedfordshire. If there was a degree in stammer right now, I would probably achieve a first class degree in it. I wake up a stammerer, I live my daily life as a stammerer and I go to sleep knowing I stammer. Try living with that? I cant remember when I first stammered, but then again, I cant remember the day I could speak fluently before I occurred this disease.. and theres not a day that goes by where I dream of speaking fluently again.

I am who I am because of my stammer. Ever since a young age, I would get the general people who would laugh at me, make jokes and even get into fights with people to who take it too far. why? Step into my shoes and you'll know what it feels like to have a stammer! 

What about how I feel? These days, people only think about themselves, or I see people giving other people support. What about me? I don’t want to sound like I’m the most the important person in the world, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask how I feel once in a while. I can’t remember the last time someone said that to me, not even my own parents. If my parents loved me that much, they obviously would have asked me by now.

I just want someone to hug me tight and tell me everything will be alright.. one day.

It was only a few years ago that I started to feel suicidal because it has got to the stage where I felt I was being accepted in life as a stammerer and having this condition would get me no where. So is there any point in living? I prayed to God to take my life away every night, crying at the same time. Even on the odd occasion thought of overdosing myself and looking on the internet for other ways...

What I want to get out of this blog is to tell you, the normal people who dont stammer, how it really affects stammerers such as myself to live with this condition and why you should take it serious as you are very lucky this wasnt you!

To be continued...